Tag: life

AM I A WORKAHOLIC?

Posted on by Joy Held

AM I A WORKAHOLIC?

18 February 2026

AM I A WORKAHOLIC?

Disclaimer: This article may contain affiliate links although I have never made a single dime from one, I’m required by law to provide a disclaimer.

If I am a workaholic, I don’t care.

Honestly, I’m pretty sure I am a workaholic, but I’m not going to blame anyone else. Growing up, I had intense role models. My parents and extended family members were all middle class and had to work incredibly hard to make ends meet, food appear on the table, and apparel that met the fashion expectations of the day available to everyone. If we were poor, I didn’t get the memo, but I also don’t remember wanting too much besides a book to read, the time and freedom to read it, and paper and pencil with which to write my own poems and stories.

When I was twelve years old, my parents, who were self-employed (my Dad actually worked two jobs year-round; one full-time and one part-time, both as a contractor,) decided I should be more conscious of the money necessary to run a business and a household. I was happy to learn and by the age of fourteen I was keeping the financial books for both of them. As the family bookkeeper for two entrepreneurs, did I maybe see too much work going on? Did I assume everybody worked all the time? I don’t remember thinking that, but perhaps it influenced me more than I knew, because flash forward I will work, work, work until something is done or I run myself into the ground and get sick.

Something called the Bergen Work Addiction Scale entered the world around 2012. It was compiled by researchers in Norway and the United Kingdom and administered to over 12,000 working Norwegians. It’s based on the traditional psychological conditions indicating addiction to anything and is developed in specific accordance with the principles of work. Here are the seven basic criteria of the Bergen scale:

  • You think of how you can free up more time to work.
  • You spend much more time working than initially intended.
  • You work in order to reduce feelings of guilt, anxiety, helplessness and depression.
  • You have been told by others to cut down on work without listening to them.
  • You become stressed if you are prohibited from working.
  • You deprioritise hobbies, leisure activities, and exercise because of your work.
  • You work so much that it has negatively influenced your health.

How many do you recognize in yourself? I meet six of the seven. Whatever.

To save me from myself, my Mom introduced me to yoga when I was eighteen. She probably recognized the type A (for Always busy) oldest child syndrome leaking out. Because I was a competitive gymnast, hatha yoga suited my twisty-twirly, boneless body just fine. Consequently, I have practiced yoga and meditate to counterbalance my worker bee personality ever since.

And although not much is said about it, the dirty little secret of gymnastics AND ballet is that you can’t do that stuff forever. THAT has haunted me forever. The last day of ballet, the last day of back handsprings, and the last night of reading till dawn were difficult for me.

The last day of storytelling will inevitably make its appearance. That will be a really tough one. Eyes, hands, shoulders, spine, and hips will eventually stop cooperating. My pragmatic side gets this. My creative side says, “Get this shit done before you can’t!” So, I read books, write books, sell books, and help others with their book needs while I can and until I can’t.

That’s why I am a workaholic. One day the work won’t work.

Are you a workaholic? I took this test on the Psychology Today website and scored a B-. Well, damn. I would love to know what you score. Remember to take such things with a healthy, side-eye of skepticism.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/career/workaholic-test

Leave a comment below. And sign up for my newsletter below.

Be well, write well!

Joy E. Held

Founder and CEO

My WriteDay Subscription Box

Connect with us:

Website: https://www.mywriteday.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550745717735

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mywriteday/

Email: MyWriteDaySubBox@gmail.com

My WriteDay Subscription Box

One of my many projects is My WriteDay bi-monthly subscription box for writers, and it opens to new subscribers Monday, March 2 at noon eastern. Each box is packed with a new writing craft book, office essentials, healthy snacks, and items to support a writer’s creativity and health. The March-April 2026 box is “Picture Book Perfection.”

Advertisement

Would you like to see your book advertised here? Just $20. Contact me at writerwellness@gmail.com

I’ve got a new book coming out February 24!

Saving Marietta: Journey to Freedom, Book 1

JOY E. HELD is a busy author, educator, editor, book coach, entrepreneur, and literary citizen responsible for this site and its contents. She is the author of

Writer Wellness: A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity (Headline Books, Inc., 2020)

Writer Wellness Workbook: A Guided Workbook and Journal to Accompany Writer Wellness: A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity (Headline Books, Inc., 2023)

The Mermaid Riot (Fire and Ice YA, 2024) Young Adult Historical Fantasy

Saving Marietta: Journey to Freedom, Book 1 (Headline Books, Inc., 2026) Adult Historical Romance

She is the winner of multiple writing and book awards:

West Virginia Writers, Inc. Annual Writing Contest, Honorable Mention, Novel, 1998.

New York Book Festival, Honorable Mention, Writer Wellness, 2020.

Next Generation Indie Book Awards, Finalist, Writer Wellness, 2021.

Northeast Ohio Romance Writers of America, Member of the Year, 2020.

Northeast Ohio Romance Writers of America, First Book Award, 2020.

She is an adjunct faculty member in the Southern New Hampshire University Online MFA Creative Writing.

She is a proud graduate of Seton Hill University in Greensburg, PA with an MFA in Writing Popular Fiction.

She is a member of The Authors Guild and the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators.

Joy is the founder and CEO of My WRITEDAY Subscription Box for writers and readers.

Buy me a coffee

 

 

 

GUEST POST: THE IMPORTANCE OF BACKSTORY TO WRITING

Posted on by Joy Held

22 September 2025

“The Importance of Backstory to Writing”

Guest Post from Author PETE TAYLOR

Some trail names are given to hikers by their fellow hikers. Trail names generally reflect a personal aspect of a hiker such as hair color, appearance, profession, and a myriad of other aspects of a person.

We always laugh about a guy we met with a trail name of “Ass Trumpet.” At one of the first town-stops along the trail he overdid the salad and fruit bar one night and for the rest of his time on the trail he was called “Ass Trumpet” after keeping his fellow hikers up all night with his ‘explosions.’

A trail name sticks with you. It sometimes pops up years after the end of a hike. For example, I was in a small outfitters shop in Luray, Virginia looking for a specific piece of hiking gear for my son’s Christmas present. A guy tapped me on the shoulder and asked, “Hardcharger”?

I turned and sure enough it was “Red Dawn,” a young man I had hiked with back in Tennessee many years before. To this day I doubt if either of us remembers their real name, but we recognized each other and chatted for a while catching up on our hiking experiences. In another incident, in a shelter in Connecticut, I ran into a young woman who told us her trail name. I had seen that name in a trail log in one of the shelters in Virginia. She was a member of a group of young women who referred to themselves as the “Pack Divas.” I asked her what had happened to her group, and we had a wonderful time talking around the campfire.

Hiking serves as the backstory, the backbone so to speak, using the hike as an extension to support the central theme of my books Province Senior Intelligence Advisor and The Tuscarora Trail, part of my four-book series set during the Vietnam War. This backstory also serves as a metaphor for facing the challenges of life, overcoming obstacles, and learning to move on from adversity.

Besides the retelling of my Vietnam experiences, I added nuance to the events by relying on my own trail journals that I’ve kept for all of my hikes. Each night I’d sit and jot down notes about the day. When I got home, I’d get out maps and expand on the works by recording the daily mileages, proper geographical names, names of people and places we had encountered, and include photos that I had taken. I’d type them up into a web file and store them away.

Hardcharger & Johnny B on the Appalachian Trail

“Johnny B” and I have been hiking together for thirty years, and we’ve lived a number of adventures. My journals from those hikes make for great ‘backstory’ for my books.

The ‘backstory’ gave me a great opportunity to have a ‘vehicle’ to tell the various war stories as if I am talking to an audience rather than just relating the stories in machinegun fashion. In the final book of the series, The Tuscarora Trail, I was able to use the hiking backstory to finish the series as well as to weave a degree of closure into the stories. My intent was to have a ‘backstory’ that people could relate to.

So how does a writer convey those feelings; fear, loneliness, frustration, quick-learning, and still tell the story? Part of the ‘success’ is the backstory. Be it the Appalachian or Tuscarora Trails, or an innocent romance, backstory is important to my writing. It provides an additional vehicle to tell other parts of the events and to develop or maintain interest in the major theme of my books. The story-in-the-story is helpful because the ‘hero’ can show additional character dimensions that wouldn’t necessarily be observable in the standard telling of the tale; love in wartime, coming-of-age, adventurous hikes, feelings of grief and loss, and a myriad of other emotions that can be explored by the reader and the author alike all through backstory.

Have a good one,

~Pete

AUTHOR BIO PETE TAYLOR

Peter Taylor is an American author and Military Historian who served three combat tours in Vietnam 1969-1971 and 1972-1973. His works include a Civil War History of Harrison County, West Virginia, a novel that developed from that book The Most Hated Man in Clarksburg, and The Advisor Series, four novels about the military Advisory efforts in Vietnam.

*Thanks for your wisdom and your service, Pete. ~JEH

DISCLAIMER

This article may contain affiliate links which may result in the author receiving a commission when readers purchase items through the links.

You are receiving this message because you previously signed up for notifications or participated in a program/course with Joy. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Leave a comment below.

ADVERTISEMENT

Buy me a coffee

 

GUEST POST: “Writing for Your Life” by LINDA BALLOU

Posted on by Joy Held

 

 

This article may contain affiliate links which may result in the author receiving a commission when readers purchase items through the links.

 

“Writing for Your Life”

Guest Post By Linda Ballou

 

My writing is not just a rewarding creative expression that some would consider an indulgence. It was my way of sorting out who I was, a healing mechanism and a way to cope with the challenges that came my way.  At the tender age of thirteen, I was rudely uprooted and transplanted in Haines, Alaska, a tiny town at the top of the Inside Passage. I remember our excitement at seeing a Mama Moose with a calf clomping across the road that runs through the Chilkat River Valley when we arrived at our new home. The river valley teeming with wildlife remains one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen on the planet.

Still, I was the new girl in town and plainly out of step with my peers. I turned to books in my isolation. I began to journal to help me deal with my loneliness. Reading, The Second Sex, by Simone De Beauvoir got me thinking about women’s roles in society. I wasn’t burning my bra in the streets, but I was questioning whether I wanted marriage and children.

As Isabella Bird so famously said,

” If you want to be a vine around a tree, then marry.”

When I turned 18 I returned to California to attend college in Los Angeles. Once again, I didn’t fit in. The drug -culture was in full swing and I found getting stoned boring. I put myself through college selling real estate. I earned a degree in English Literature and graduated exhausted and disillusioned with the materialistic society I was living in. I dropped out of society and landed on the North Shore of Kauai to think about it all and test my writing ability

It was here that I met the heroine of my first novel Wai-nani: A Voice from Old Hawai’i. Ka’ahumanu, the favorite wife (out of 32) of Kamehameha the Great, is a controversial character in Hawaiian history. She was a childless bride who became his confident and companion. When he died he bestowed upon her the power to rule with his son. She was a magnificent athlete, brave, passionate, and caring, dubbed the “Mother of the People”. She embodied the empowered, self-actualized woman that I so admired and wanted to become.

Publishing Wai-nani was a monumental step forward in my writing life. I had to be brave like Ka’ahumanu and lift the dragon’s tail of fear from my path. It meant taking the risk of failure and possible rebuke from Hawaiian scholars. It moved me towards personal liberation and believing in myself as a writer. It required taking responsibility for having a voice and becoming part of the “Long Conversation”.

I returned to California where I supported my eating habit by selling real estate. I took up horseback riding and ended up hook line and sinker into the sport. My mare was my best friend. We rode the hills and dales around our barn entered jumping events and became a team. One day while riding her I felt a tingle in my lower back. The next day I was down for the count with a herniated disk. I was forced to give up my Gingersnap and the riding world.

The nerve pain was mind-bending, but the thought of losing my mare and the horse world I was so invested in was devastating. I couldn’t sit for any length of time, so I stood at my breakfast bar to write The Cowgirl Jumped Over the Moon. Being engaged in writing the story took my attention away from the nagging sciatic pain in my legs.

My protagonist does everything I ever wanted to do on a horse. She even rides solo on the Pacific Crest Trail which was a dream of mine. There she meets a lone cowboy who is a fire lookout. Rugged, yet sophisticated, caring, and a good cook he is my fantasy guy. There is also an environmental message about not disturbing the natural world that became important to me when I was growing up in Alaska. So, writing this story helped me let go of Ginger and allowed me to give voice to things I care about.

Eventually, I healed. I put the love of horseback riding, writing, and travel into play as a travel writer. For the past couple of decades, I have enjoyed traveling around the globe hosted by various outfitters. My writing has taken me where I needed to go.

When the pandemic set in for the kill my travel wings were clipped. At first, I was angry about not being able to continue the life I loved, but once again my writing saved my life. Isabella Bird was an intrepid, Victorian Age explorer who ventured to parts of the world where they had never seen a white woman. I had long admired her pluck and writing skills. I determined to fictionalize her life and times in Hawai’i and Colorado. The result, Embrace of the Wild, was featured on the BBC docuseries Trailblazers that aired in the U.K. in 2022. Writing this book got me through two years of isolation, and brought wonderful new exposure to my work.

In retrospect, I see how my writing has been my coping mechanism, a means of fulfillment, and a form of self-actualization.  Lost Angel Unleashed, the third book in my Lost Angel Travel Trilogy, released in 2023 is a travel memoir. I share my lonesome beginnings with humor along with some of my favorite travel memories. I think it is a wrap, but you never know, I may need to write one more book to stay alive.

www.LindaBallouAuthor.com

 

Advertisements

 

 

Jokes Only Writers Can Love

Posted on by Joy Held

THE LAST BOOKSTORE riley-mccullough-152713

Jokes Only Writers Can Love

Some days it’s funnier to be a writer than others. And writers are famous for thinking something is funny when other people don’t see the humor. For instance, we get a giggle out of misspelled words on business signs. We think running out of ink while printing off a query letter is paramount to disaster, and we think the telephone is a torture device meant to keep us from ever having a thought without interruption. And psychoanalyst is another word for the jealous critique partner. So on those days, it’s convenient to have a writerly joke to lighten the mood.

***

Three guys are sitting at a bar-

Guy#1 “Yeah, I make about $75,000.00 a year after taxes.”

Guy#2 “What do you do for a living?”

#1 “I’m a stockbroker. How much do you make?”

#2 “I should clear $60,000.00 this year.”

#1 “What do you do?”

#2 “I’m an architect.”

They turn to the third guy sitting quietly, staring into his beer.

#2 “Hey, how much do you make a year?”

#3 “Gee, ummm, I guess about $13,000.00.”

#1 “Oh, yeah? What kind of stories do you write?”

^^^^^^

A screenwriter comes home to find his house burned to the ground and his wife in the yard sobbing.

“What happened, honey?” the man asked.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she said while crying.”I was cooking and the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in seconds. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out. Poor Fluffy is…”

“Wait. Wait. Back up a minute,” the screenwriter says. “My agent called?”

######

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.

She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row on row of writers chained to their desks working in a steamy sweatshop while being whipped with thorny lashes.

“Oh, my,” said the writer. “Let’s see heaven now.”

In heaven she saw row on row of writers chained to their desks working in a steamy sweatshop while being whipped with thorny lashes.

“Wait a minute,” she said. “This is as bad as hell.”

“Oh, no it’s not,” said a booming voice. “Here your work gets published.”

*****

How many romance writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one: “He grasped the round, cool shape of the tantalizing bulb between his fingers and squeezed ever so gently then expertly guided the tip into the waiting socket. He felt the connection and slowly began a mind-blowing twist of the bulb until it settled into the perfect place. And they both knew the satisfaction of ……

Well, you get the idea.

~~~~~

Personally, my idea of Hell is being someplace without paper and something to write with or having both and my hands are tied!

Have a writer giggle to share that’s suitable for mixed genres and ages?

Be well, write well.

~hugs,

Joy

JoyHeldHeadshot3

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Relaxation/meditation, creative play, fitness and exercise, journaling, and nutrition.

Joy E. Held is the author of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity, a college educator, blogger, and yoga/meditation teacher. Her work has appeared in numerous publications including Romance Writers Report, Dance Teacher Now, Yoga Journal, and Woman Engineer Magazine.

Photo: K. Held

Photo by Riley McCullough on Unsplash

Copyright 2018, Joy E. Held

GUEST POST: There Is Enough-For Everyone

Posted on by Joy Held

Welcome KATHERINE DOWN, a fellow student at Seton Hill University. Katherine realized an uplifting moment during the recent January  2017 MFA residency. It falls right in line with the positivity ideal of Writer Wellness.

“There is Enough — For Everyone”

By: Katharine Dow

THE LAST BOOKSTORE riley-mccullough-152713

 

Bookstores are my favorite places in the world. Inside each new book is the promise of adventure, magic, and wonder. To quote C.S. Lewis, “You can’t get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me.”

However, there are days when I blink, and the beauty of endless possibility disappears. Instead of a sacred space, the bookstore transforms into a nightmare in which the cacophony of millions of words written by superior writers drowns out my small, humble contribution to Story. In those moments, I remember the devastating suicide note in Thomas Hardy’s Jude the Obscure, “Done, because we are too menny.” In those moments, I feel that there are too many books in the world for my books to matter, and I am a fool to try.

During a recent class on Emotion, taught by Maria Snyder at Seton Hill University’s MFA in Popular Fiction Program, we were asked to write down a list of our protagonists greatest fears. As I created my list, I realized that the root cause of each of my protagonist’s fears is the belief that there is only so much good in the world, life is a zero-sum game, and that if she doesn’t achieve the goal, her future is grim.

I realized in that class that I have a choice. I can believe, as my protagonist believes for the majority of the book, that the world of story is like a pie, with only so many pieces to be had, and none left for me. Or, I can choose to believe, in the immortal words of the band Midnight Oil, that “there is enough—for everyone.”

According to quantum physics, reality occurs on two levels: possibility and actuality. It suggests that there exists an entire world of possibilities, material as well as in meaning, and in feeling. If so, life is a series of choices and possibilities that are deeply and fundamentally creative. There is no one option. There is no last piece of the pie. It’s a theory we would all do well to embrace.

KAT DOW HEADSHOT 1606924_10152596584703782_446171816_n

Katharine Dow is a global nomad who has lived in eight countries as a student, aid worker, and diplomat. In 2017, she set her passport aside and enrolled in the MFA in Popular Fiction program at Seton Hill University, a choice which has become the most unpredictable and challenging adventure of all. You can find her under the twitter handle @suggestionize.

Thanks, Katherine!

Be well, write well.

~hugs,

Joy

JoyHeldHeadshot3

Joy E. Held is the author of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity, a college educator, blogger, and yoga/meditation teacher. Her work has appeared in numerous publications including Romance Writers Report, Dance Teacher Now, Yoga Journal, and Woman Engineer Magazine.

Photo: K. Held

Copyright 2018, Joy E. Held

cropped-writer_wellness_cover3

Word Power: IDIOT

Posted on by Joy Held

GOOFY BIRD ray-hennessy-229596 (1)

What’s In a Word?

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Relaxation/meditation, creative play, fitness and exercise, journaling, and nutrition.

Word power is an occasional comment from me on–words. My love of words is one of the reasons I became a writer.

I’ve never been a fan of the word “idiot.” It is the ultimate insult to someone’s intelligence in most circles. But words, particularly prickly ones like ‘idiot,’ get popularized through overuse by a group or a celebrity or some other pop culture phenomenon. Apparently, “idiot” is a new favorite word in the world of entertainment.

There is the Alpha Books series “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to fill-in-the-blank” http://www.idiotsguides.com/

My daughters loved the Broadway musical “American Idiot,” a rock opera performed by the group Green Day.

http://americanidiotonbroadway.com/

And there’s the “Idiot Proof Diet” with a picture of a cartoon character saying, “I’m a certified idiot,” with a big smile on her face.

http://idiotproofdiet.com/

I mean, who wants to be an idiot? It’s the greatest reverse psychology marketing idea ever, isn’t it? You don’t want to be an idiot so you need the information or the product in your arsenal to prove you aren’t an idiot.

But then two comedians (Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant) come up with an idea for a television show called “An Idiot Abroad.” And even though the word idiot still rubs me the wrong way, this reality series is hysterical in a funny and perhaps a not so funny way.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1702042/

While he’s never actually referred to as the idiot, Gervais and Merchant have convinced Karl Pilkington to visit the seven wonders of the world because he’s a stay-at-home-and-happy-to-be-there Brit who’s not the most culturally aware fellow you’ll ever meet. Or maybe he is. What’s so funny is seeing yourself in what he says and does in all these countries when faced with some culturally bizarre (by some terms) foods, customs, and traffic. Imagine Archie Bunker getting a back wax in Brazil so he can wear a Samba costume to Carnivale. That’s Karl Pilkington, just no recliner or cigar.

For instance, not too long into the travels, he becomes obsessed with toilets when he discovers that they are not the same abroad as he’s used to at home. He hates crowds, parties, and planning, so everywhere he goes Gervais and Merchant have arranged for Pilkington to participate in some major cultural phenomenon that tests his patience and sometimes his stomach. Mostly what Pilkington does is complain. He witnesses the giant statue of Christ the Redeemer in Brazil and all he has to say about it is the price of a can of Coke is too much, and they can get away with it because there is nothing to compete with.

Needing a voice of reason among the cackles, I turn to Webster. “Idiot, n. 1. Psychol. A person of profound mental retardation.” Just when I think this isn’t going to help, I read, “No longer in scientific use and considered offensive.”

In my opinion, it is ignominious to call someone an idiot. What’s your opinion on the word idiot?

Be well, write well.

~hugs,

Joy

JoyHeldHeadshot3

Joy E. Held is the author of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity, a college educator, blogger, and yoga/meditation teacher. Her work has appeared in numerous publications including Romance Writers Report, Dance Teacher Now, Yoga Journal, and Woman Engineer Magazine.

Photo: K. Held

Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash

Copyright 2018, Joy E. Held

A Liquid Mind Can Be Messy

Posted on by Joy Held

20161129_173712A Liquid Mind Can Be Messy

 

A singular goal of meditation is to learn acceptance and therefore patience. If we accept the truth of ourselves and decide to live that authenticity in our daily activities, we will surely become more aware of our inadequacies. By the same token, we notice these weaknesses in other people. “We are only human,” (and flawed ones at that) becomes an overused excuse for not wanting to make the effort to be better, to change.

If meditation practice brings us face to face with our true natures, then why would we want to do it? Because knowing the reality of who we are releases us from the burden of trying to be something and someone we aren’t. It’s a very liberating feeling to make choices from a strong and energetic place of, “This is who I am, and this decision comes from that source, the me-energy I am.”

IMG_1489

How can a few minutes of sitting motionless and without dwelling on thinking bring us to a place of fully understanding our true natures? These moments are the only ones in the day when we are free from having to meet anyone else’s expectations. Our lives are all built upon living up to the demands, requests, promises, and instructions given to us by other people. They are perfectly within their rights to offer these requests.

Our personal stress comes from trying to meet obligations put upon us that do not match what we believe about who we are and what we’re capable of. It’s stressful to be inside this pressure yet it’s how everyone’s life is lived in contemporary society. There are rules, boundaries, expectations, precautions, and on and on that define how we live. These demands do not have to define who we live our lives as.

Meditation allows us to discover and stay connected to our authentic selves and later it gives us the strength to accept and appreciate ourselves and others regardless of flaws. Because we learn in meditation to accept and appreciate our true natures, we are better equipped to offer the same considerations to other people. But we’re only human.

shower

I call this having a liquid mind because during meditation I am soft and flowing physically, mentally, and emotionally and the feeling is like warm water all around and through me. After taking a deep cleansing breath, opening my eyes, and getting up from the meditation cushion, I notice this liquid feeling, and I make a point to say to myself, “I will do my best to carry this warm, juicy feeling into my experiences today.”

Sometimes it is easy. Sometimes it is messy. Like a coffee cup filled beyond the brim, hot feelings can overflow and burn me when I encounter people with agendas, misconceptions, and fears.

Cleaning set photo

I’m only human, a flawed one at that, but I try to pause before I respond to the burning liquid being thrown my way. I try, but sometimes, because I’m only human, my true self says, “You need to clean that up, honey. I left my maid uniform at home.” And I go back to the cushion seeking more practice at patience and acceptance.

Is meditation helping you cope with something or someone in a better way?

Be well, write well.

~hugs,

Joy

cropped-writer_wellness_cover3

Housework Is Not Exercise

Posted on by Joy Held

Cleaning set photo

“I’m going to clean this dump—just as soon as the kids are grown.”

                ~Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck is probably the reason I love being a Mom but hate cleaning. She always wrote about hating housework. I read her in the local paper when I was young and to this day think of her column about changing the toilet paper roll every time I do it. She’s the one who asked many years ago why she was the one person solely responsible for refilling the toilet paper when the house was full of other capable people who could accomplish the chore just fine. But any time she sat down, well, being the only one “in charge” of the changing, sometimes she was caught without. Why didn’t the person who used the last sheet recognize the condition and refill the roll instead of leaving it to her? Bombeck never discovered the answer to my knowledge and neither have I, but I keep extra rolls really close by because it happens all the time. Why me?

Cooking and baking are very spiritual, satisfying activities for me, but I really would rather not have to clean house. I love a clean house, and I’m good at cleaning, but it drains me to the point I have nothing left with which to exercise. And I love exercise. However, I’ve never quite bought into the concept of housework as exercise. The idea is flawed in many ways.

1.Exercise is enjoyable. Cleaning house is not. Who wants to clean hair off the floor behind the toilet for heaven’s sake? The bending required isn’t healthy and neither are the fumes. No physical benefit and no improvement in breathing technique. But I know the gunk is there and eventually I have to swab it out at the expense of my exercise for the day. Ugh.

2.Exercise has recognizable rewards like tone muscles and improved attitude. House cleaning has little if any rewards. I no sooner am dumping the mop water down the drain as a person or a dog is coming in the room with dirty feet or paws. “I just mopped!” is greeted with, “Looks nice, dear.” Grrrrr.

3.Exercise has many success stories. There is no one to my knowledge (if they existed there would be a reality TV show about them) who has lost weight, toned up, and kept off the pounds from cleaning house.

“I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes—and six months later you have to start all over again.”

                ~Joan Rivers

 Household chores must be accomplished, however, and many writers have designed a routine to think about writing projects while folding laundry and mentally working out plot problems while running the vacuum cleaner. But these jobs don’t count as exercise, so it’s off to the gym! Have you achieved fitness by cleaning the house? Prove it!

“Women with clean houses do not have finished books.”

                ~Joy Held

 

“Be well, write well.”

~Joy

Tuesday Tickle: Guest Joanna Aislinn Offers An Idea for Some Quick Pampering

Posted on by Joy Held

Quick Pampering

Hi all. These thoughts came to me a week or so ago, when hormones were making me crazy and I was seeing the world in one of those weepy-way days.

Every last thing was making me feel overwhelmed: the house; the price of gas; not utilizing my time well and thinking about all I had to do (or wanted to get done) in just a few hours.

I was in serious need of a mental shift and lucky enough to be feeling that way when I wasn’t scheduled to work the day job. I headed upstairs to face the bedroom that needed some attention and to figure out what I’d wear.

Maybe getting dressed forced me to notice my feet, which hadn’t seen an official (i.e., spa) pedicure since the summer. Since I’m lousy at scaring out the 45 minutes that would take (and often too restless to sit through it anyway), I grabbed the Ped-Egg and got to work. Within 20 minutes (possibly less) I was heading into the shower with much smoother skin at the ends of my lower extremities.

The process got my mind off my blues, and I can’t imagine scrubbing with some force didn’t help channel some negative energy out either, lol.)

IMPORTANT: If you have any problems with circulation or bleeding (i.e., are diabetic, take blood thinners, etc) DO NOT DO YOUR OWN PEDICURE. Talk to a podiatrist, who can steer you in the best direction given your condition.

For the rest of you, your own pedicure is easy. Just follow these steps!

(1) Keep feet dry and use the Ped-Egg to slough dead, roughened skin off anywhere on your feet you find it. (For those who can’t reach their feet, get hold of a foot rasp—usually available at dollar stores and pharmacies. Use Velcro to attach a longer handle—a wooden spatula is great—to the rasp’s handle. With that, you’ll get down to the heels pretty easily. Getting under the foot is a bigger challenge—one this occupational-therapist-by-trade needs to think about.)

(2) Don’t wet those feet yet! Once you’ve sloughed to smoothness, make a scrub with liquid hand soap and borax (yep, the inexpensive 20-Mule-Team box from the laundry aisle at any supermarket). Squirt a dollop of soap onto your dry palm and sprinkle enough borax on the soap to cover it. Apply directly to your skin and scrub away what’s left of those rough patches. (Borax tends to soften skin. Who knew?) Take it one step further and scrub your legs too!

(3) Rinse with warm water for a soothing effect. If you want to perk those legs and/or feet up, finish with a blast of cool—not cold—water.

(4) Apply your favorite scented lotion. (Lavender or vanillas are soothing. Peppermint is great for waking those toesies up!) If you’re doing this on a cold day, put socks or stockings on while your feet are a bit moist. If you’re bed-bound, consider putting on a heavier-duty ointment (i.e., petroleum jelly or Avon’s Moisture Therapy, which is based in petroleum jelly. Eucerin, Kerry and Curel products are great too, and my dollar store has an awesome creamy petroleum jelly that’s pretty amazing.)

(5) Pat yourself on the back for having done something nice for yourself! Take it a step further: prop those puppies up in your favorite relaxing hangout and read or just wind down for a little longer. J

Thanks, Joy, for allowing me this opportunity to share with your readers and fans one way I take care of myself.

All good thoughts to everyone,

Joanna Aislinn guest blogJoanna Aislinn

I am a wife, mother, day-job holder, mega-fan of tennis (go Rafa, Djok and Roger) and recently football  (Go Giants–so psyched for Super Bowl XLVI) She’s an avid reader. My writing roots stretch back to my early teenage days. At present, I’m fine-tuning the sequel to NO MATTER WHY, my debut novel. (For those who like, you can still snag an e-copy and/or print copy over at Amazon, while I transition into a new, to be determined phase of my writer’s life.) I’m also developing a third story in the series and working on some more free reads (for posting when the time is right J; there are, however, quite a few already at my blog).  When I’m not writing reports for work (or cleaning) I’m learning about promo, making on-line friends while building my web presence and looking for ways to connect with the readers!
 
Visit me at my website and blog, and I’d be honored if you choose to follow me on Twitter and/or friend me on Facebook!
 
 
 
Joanna Aislinn
Dream. Believe. Strive. Achieve!
NO MATTER WHY
The Wild Rose Press (available now!)
www.joannaaislinn.com
www.joannaaislinn.wordpress.com

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Every other week I will post an idea for relaxation (Monday Meditation,) creative play (Tuesday Tickle,) fitness and exercise (Wednesday Workout,) journaling and misc. (Thursday Thought,) and nutrition (Friday Feast.)

Meanwhile, remember to look for a digital or print copy of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity at Who Dares Wins Publishing, http://whodareswinspublishing.com.

And check out these great blogs for ideas to keep your writing and publishing healthy and prosperous.

http://writeitforward.wordpress.com/ Bob Mayer

http://jenniholbrooktalty.wordpress.com/ Jenni Holbrook

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ Kristen Lamb

http://inspiration4writers.blogspot.com/ Inspiration for Writers, Inc.

http://pentopublish.blogspot.com/ Natalie Markey

http://amyshojai.com Amy Shojai

Check out my new website Joy E. Held

Have you subscribed to this Writer Wellness blog yet? Get email updates when a new post is added. Click “subscribe” and leave your email. That’s it and thanks in advance!

Be well, write well

Thursday Thot: Looking Back to Understand the Future

Posted on by Joy Held

Something I recommend in Writer Wellness is looking back through old journals we’ve written. It’s a meta-cognitive exercise that actively engages our minds with the path we’ve taken while giving us a hint of where we could be headed. I don’t mean to sound contradictory or psychic. Reviewing what we’ve written in our journals is just a good healthy way to check in and see what’s missing and give ourselves the opportunity to think about how to fill in the gaps of life. For instance, I have looked back through journals I kept for 2011 and realized that something I enjoy is spending time with friends and I don’t get enough of it. I also noticed that I wrote about wanting to do more leisure activities such as attending sports events which I really love. Now I make time for more of these things in my life and consciously tell my inner critic that I don’t HAVE to have the toilets clean and all the laundry done before I can go out and play. Consequently I had a marvelous latter half of the 2011 because I didn’t miss a home football game at the college where I teach, and I invited seven friends out to lunch at the same time, and we had a splendid time!

Here’s your challenge. Look back on the year 2011 in your mind and in your journals or on your calendars before you trash them and identify something missing in your life that you want to change. Tell me about it in a comment to this post no later than next Thursday, Jan. 12, and you’ll be entered into a drawing for a month of personal Writer Wellness coaching with me via email. And if you don’t have a copy of the book, that’s yours too. So look back on your life as you’ve kept track of it and decide what steps you want to take to make the path you’re on brighter and healthier. I’m here to help.

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Every other week I will post an idea for relaxation (Monday Meditation,) creative play (Tuesday Tickle,) fitness and exercise (Wednesday Workout,) journaling and misc. (Thursday Thought,) and nutrition (Friday Feast.)

 

Meanwhile, remember to look for a digital or print copy of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity at Who Dares Wins Publishing, http://whodareswinspublishing.com.

And check out these great blogs for ideas to keep your writing and publishing healthy and prosperous.

http://writeitforward.wordpress.com/ Bob Mayer

http://jenniholbrooktalty.wordpress.com/ Jenni Holbrook

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ Kristen Lamb

http://inspiration4writers.blogspot.com/ Inspiration for Writers, Inc.

http://pentopublish.blogspot.com/ Natalie Markey

http://amyshojai.com Amy Shojai

Check out my new website Joy E. Held

Have you subscribed to this Writer Wellness blog yet? Get email updates when a new post is added. Click “subscribe” and leave your email. That’s it and thanks in advance!

Be well, write well