Tag: stress

“EUSTRESS TOOL KIT” TO HELP YOU RELAX

Posted on by Joy Held

RELAXATION FOR WRITERS

25 April 2025

Hans Selye

A researcher named Hans Selye began ground-breaking studies in the 1930’s on stress. Since then, we’ve been educated on the detrimental effects of stress on our mind-body-spirit system. Stress is bad has and is the message, but Selye was among the first to define eustress or conditions that are productive and healthy for the body. Distress=negative situations. Eustress=positive impacts. Like the feeling of euphoria, eustress represents life events such as achieving a goal, going on vacation, getting a good evaluation, or doing something you enjoy. Stress is unavoidable and always has been. From the first time a saber-toothed tiger chased a primitive hunter out of the forest, stress has and will continue to be a part of the life and development of humankind. And writers. I could end it here by saying, “Just deal with it,” but that wouldn’t be helpful. What I am going to suggest is reframing your relationship with (di)stress to achieve a balanced acceptance of it in your life and work as a writer.

TIME CANNOT BE MANAGED

One of the biggest lessons I have learned from 50 years of practicing yoga and meditation is that time cannot be managed. It can only be accepted. Not changed, reversed, challenged, or revisited. Time is in control, and it is life altering to accept that and not constantly be at war with it. I learned this from the simple practice of counting my breaths and noticing how Time became not the enemy or friend but my steady companion. Time is the constant. We are not. Even though Time is a man-made concept, I believe that it is the source of much of our (di)stress. Reframing my perception of Time as simply a construct rather than a master was very relaxing. This is what I mean by revising your impression of stress to something more positive.

STRESS CANNOT BE MANAGED

Time cannot be managed regardless of how happy your planner or appointment app may be. It will march forward with or without you and not be impressed by whether you keep up or not. So why let it manage YOU? I believe the same about managing stress. It is a fact of life and cannot be “managed” any easier than time can be. Both concepts can be ORGANIZED but not managed. Imagine the faces on my students the first day of the “Stress Management” college course I taught for years when I explained my perspective on time and stress. Neither is manageable but you can rethink your view and achieve understanding, balance, and relief by accepting this and learning to COPE.

“EUSTRESS TOOL KIT”

1.The first step is acknowledging your place in the hierarchy of stress and time. You are not in control but that doesn’t mean you can’t play well with them.

2.The second step is creating a list of what you already know helps you relax. From the simple to the complicated and the mundane, making a list of what you find relaxing provides you with a tool kit for accepting what you can’t change and believing that life will be okay. This is your “Eustress Tool Kit.”

3.Third step is practicing the actions on your personal relaxation list on a daily basis. At least one relaxing activity per day will help you achieve balance and develop the understanding that you can handle almost anything because you know that stressful situations happen and that you have a set of tools to help you cope.

My “Eustress Tool Kit” list includes:

Walking

Yoga

Counting breaths

Gardening

Meditation

Reading

Water

Journaling

Butterflies

A day without appointments

Purple things

Colored markers

Helping people

Learning something new

The sound of my grandson’s voice

Blank paper

Not burning what I’m cooking or baking

Laughing

Thinking

Sharing

What’s in your “Eustress Tool Kit” that you can pull out once or twice a day to cope with stress instead of fighting with it?

If you want to look deeper at this idea, I highly recommend reading The Upside of Stress, Why Stress is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It by Kelly McGonigal (Penguin Random House, 2015).

Up Next: Eat Right to Write Right

 

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Be well, write well.

~Joy

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A Liquid Mind Can Be Messy

Posted on by Joy Held

20161129_173712A Liquid Mind Can Be Messy

 

A singular goal of meditation is to learn acceptance and therefore patience. If we accept the truth of ourselves and decide to live that authenticity in our daily activities, we will surely become more aware of our inadequacies. By the same token, we notice these weaknesses in other people. “We are only human,” (and flawed ones at that) becomes an overused excuse for not wanting to make the effort to be better, to change.

If meditation practice brings us face to face with our true natures, then why would we want to do it? Because knowing the reality of who we are releases us from the burden of trying to be something and someone we aren’t. It’s a very liberating feeling to make choices from a strong and energetic place of, “This is who I am, and this decision comes from that source, the me-energy I am.”

IMG_1489

How can a few minutes of sitting motionless and without dwelling on thinking bring us to a place of fully understanding our true natures? These moments are the only ones in the day when we are free from having to meet anyone else’s expectations. Our lives are all built upon living up to the demands, requests, promises, and instructions given to us by other people. They are perfectly within their rights to offer these requests.

Our personal stress comes from trying to meet obligations put upon us that do not match what we believe about who we are and what we’re capable of. It’s stressful to be inside this pressure yet it’s how everyone’s life is lived in contemporary society. There are rules, boundaries, expectations, precautions, and on and on that define how we live. These demands do not have to define who we live our lives as.

Meditation allows us to discover and stay connected to our authentic selves and later it gives us the strength to accept and appreciate ourselves and others regardless of flaws. Because we learn in meditation to accept and appreciate our true natures, we are better equipped to offer the same considerations to other people. But we’re only human.

shower

I call this having a liquid mind because during meditation I am soft and flowing physically, mentally, and emotionally and the feeling is like warm water all around and through me. After taking a deep cleansing breath, opening my eyes, and getting up from the meditation cushion, I notice this liquid feeling, and I make a point to say to myself, “I will do my best to carry this warm, juicy feeling into my experiences today.”

Sometimes it is easy. Sometimes it is messy. Like a coffee cup filled beyond the brim, hot feelings can overflow and burn me when I encounter people with agendas, misconceptions, and fears.

Cleaning set photo

I’m only human, a flawed one at that, but I try to pause before I respond to the burning liquid being thrown my way. I try, but sometimes, because I’m only human, my true self says, “You need to clean that up, honey. I left my maid uniform at home.” And I go back to the cushion seeking more practice at patience and acceptance.

Is meditation helping you cope with something or someone in a better way?

Be well, write well.

~hugs,

Joy

cropped-writer_wellness_cover3

Monday Meditation: “Easy” Cross-legged Seat?

Posted on by Joy Held

In yoga, life is considered a series of “dukha” or sufferings one after the other, but the lessons of yoga are principally about teaching us to cope with suffering through relaxations or “sukha”. This is the art of relaxing and to yoga this means being comfortable and at ease. It means stillness (sukha) in the body and mind purposely practiced to counter act the opposite feelings of stress (dukha.) Therefore, the “easy pose” is taught as a physical position to take when trying to relax. But for some people the “easy pose” is anything but easy, so why is it called “easy”?

 

The “easy” translation simply means being the opposite of uneasy or busy and stressed. Although the specific sitting position known as the “easy pose” is traditional, the mere act of sitting or semi-reclining and being motionless can be considered an easy pose. After all, not everyone can sit on the floor with their legs crossed at the ankles for an extended period of time. It would take human or mechanical intervention to get some of them back to standing contradicting the “easy” part.

 

An “easy pose” is one that allows us to be at ease with ourselves without the urge to fall completely asleep. Most of us are conditioned to begin snoring within a few minutes if we find ourselves lying flat on our backs. Happens all the time in yoga. Corpse pose at the end of class is regularly mistaken by some exhausted individual as nap time and the rest of us are serenaded by the heavy, unburdened breath of someone who has fallen asleep on the mat. That’s okay, but as I’ve said before, sleep is not meditation. Sleep is sleep and meditation is an easy, comfortable state of relaxed alertness.

 

In meditation we are without the normal business of our bodies and minds (thoughts, movements, sounds.) Instead we are physically still. The only movement is what’s necessary to breathe. And our thoughts are fewer and slower. Thoughts are normal but they bring with them varying degrees of stress, so during meditation the fewer the better. It requires a low level of consciousness or awareness to “quiet the mind” as desired by meditation. The lack of thoughts equals fewer opportunities to be stressed by thinking which equates to feeling at ease—without stress. An easy pose is one that is comfortable enough to bring on the sensation of ease without allowing us to fall asleep.

 

Sitting cross-legged on the floor, a stack of blankets, or a meditation cushion IS a comfortable pose for some. Others may need to sit in a chair with feet flat on the floor or lie back on a stack of pillows or a bolster to keep the body from lying completely flat. As long as we are physically at ease, our breath and thoughts will eventually join in and calm down. This is “sukha” or being without the suffering implied by the stress or “dukha” of physical movement and mental stimulation.

 

The honest challenge is developing the stamina to remain in this position of ease for a particular length of time. Practice, practice, practice and the body will gradually remember its state of comfort and be more cooperative when asked to be still. Remember our bodies and minds are very practiced at zooming all the time. The opposite is challenging (dukha) but rewarding (sukha.) This is balance.

 

What is your “easy pose”?

Meanwhile, remember to look for a digital or print copy of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity at Who Dares Wins Publishing, http://whodareswinspublishing.com.

Have you subscribed to this Writer Wellness blog yet? Get email updates when a new post is added. Click “subscribe” and leave your email. That’s it and thanks in advance!

Be well, write well.

 

Joy E. Held

 

Wednesday Workout: You Are Your Body’s Mechanic

Posted on by Joy Held

“Start a physical activity program, and keep exercising consistently.” ~Practical Stress Management, John A. Romas and Manoj Sharma

 The Oxford dictionary defines machine as “…an apparatus using or applying mechanical power and having several parts, each with a definite function and together performing a particular task.”

The Oxford dictionary defines mechanical as “…relating to physical forces or motion, physical.” If something is mechanical, it is physical.

I propose to you that your body is a machine. You only have to know the basics about machinery to understand that if the machine and its parts are not cared for and maintained, the machine breaks down, is unable to perform its duties and functions. The machine stops working satisfactorily unless it is kept in working order. It has to be taken care of. That is the job of the mechanic.

Your body is your machine and you are its primary mechanic. One of the actions you need to apply to your body machine is that of physical exercise because as the definition of mechanical states, “…relating to physical forces or motion, physical,” the mechanics of your body uses movement to function and requires movement to stay in working order. Regular physical exercise is one way to maintain your body’s overall health.

Think for a minute about eating. The digestion process involves chewing, swallowing, breaking down, distributing, and discarding the resultant waste products. Those are all verbs and verbs are action words. Every system in your body is about movement. It makes sense that movement is the body’s best ally when it comes to achieving optimum health and thereby dealing successfully with stress. Exercise is an amazing tool to deal with stress. Why?

Review points in the U.S. Surgeon General’s Report on physical activity (2004).

“The chief benefits of regular physical activity include:

+Prevention and control of coronary heart disease, stroke, non-insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus, hypertension, osteoporosis, colon cancer, depression, anxiety, and obesity

+Improved heart, lung, and circulatory system function

+Better balance of blood lipids as a result of increasing “good cholesterol,” and lowering “bad cholesterol”

+Improved quality of life

+Enhanced functional independence

+Mental well-being

+Counterbalancing of adverse effects due to stress

+Improved self-esteem

+Maintenance of appropriate body weight

+Slowing down of adverse effects of aging such as memory loss

+Overall improved life expectancy.”

There are eleven positive benefits of regular physical activity listed. Eight of those eleven are related to emotional standards of health. If your emotions are in good health, so is your body. While physical exercise contributes immensely to the overall well being of a person in the mechanical sense, it contributes immensely to how we feel about ourselves and how much control we have over our lives. When we are in control of our lives through the use of healthy options such as exercise, eating right, and accomplishing goals, we are less stressed. Physical exercise gives us a sense of control over ourselves, our situations, and our choices.

What’s most important to remember about how exercise helps us deal with stress besides endorphins, neurogenesis, avoiding disease, and weight management is that regular physical exercise enhances our underlying self-respect. That intangible area of how we feel about ourselves is inexplicably linked to whether we exercise or not. Plain and simple.

Nineteenth century German philosopher Rudolf Steiner is believed to have said, “The first sign of life in a human is movement. The first sign of death in a human is lack of movement.” Our very survival is all about movement. It only makes sense that exercise be an important component of that survival.

What is your plan for exercise today?

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Every other week I will post an idea for relaxation (Monday Meditation,) creative play (Tuesday Tickle,) fitness and exercise (Wednesday Workout,) journaling and misc. (Thursday Thought,) and nutrition (Friday Feast.)

Meanwhile, remember to look for a digital or print copy of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity at Who Dares Wins Publishing, http://whodareswinspublishing.com.

 Be well, write well

       Joy E. Held

Monday Meditation: Breath in, breath out

Posted on by Joy Held

“When I stop, I pass out,” said one of my college hatha yoga students. That means we are out of balance. It means we have neglected the quiet, still moments in life and our energy levels are at an all time low, so our bodies seize the moment (when we stop) to knock us out cold so it can recharge. I call this backwards living because when we are going and doing constantly, it takes a punch in the belly to dump us a$$-over-tea-kettle so the body, mind, and spirit can get some rest. This is the hard way to achieve balance. In this zippy age of “just DO it,” 99% of the students I meet in yoga are looking for something to slow them down, but when they meet it head-on they resist. What we resist is what we need the most.

To look up the definition of “balance” in the dictionary would cause most people to slam the book shut and think, “How can one word have 27 different meanings? Forget it.” If we will spend a breath on the Latin (don’t freak) derivation, we’ll see that “balance” is Latin for “two scales”. Take the thoughts a bit farther and the image of the scales of justice should roll across our mind’s eye and we might take the leap to understand that “balance” is another word for “equality.” Hopefully, we think equality means giving both sides the same amount of time. It means striving to equalize our “doing” with our “being.”

We call ourselves human “beings”, but we are actually more human “doings”. Aren’t we always doing, going, getting, asking, etc. almost all the time? “Doing” is everything we’re responsible for and everyone we answer to. “Being” is much simpler. It is calming our mind until the only “doing” is breathing. Strangely, the human body, mind, and spirit react positively to an inequality of “doing” versus “being.” We can be much more active than inactive and our human carriages will show positive signs of health, but we must offer our bodies organized sessions of peace and quiet at regular intervals. In other words, it takes only a few minutes of “being” per day to balance many minutes of “doing” and we can achieve equilibrium.

The “being” is simply sitting or lying in a quiet, meditative state that is conscious relaxation when we are not talking, moving, thinking without obsessing (more on that later,) and simply appreciating the moment in which the only requirement of us is to breathe. It is not sleeping. It is conscious relaxation when our minds are focused on the breath and only the breath.

“Breath in, breath out,” is all we need to think and when something interrupts or tries to supersede that simple mantra, we do not follow its lead but continue the easy words in harmony with our natural breathing. As you breathe in, repeat to yourself, “Breath in.” As you breathe out, repeat to yourself, “Breath out.” Try it for five minutes, then ten minutes, then fifteen, and twenty minutes gradually increasing the time as you feel ready. It sounds easy, but let me know how easy it is or isn’t for you. If you’re human like the rest of us, it will present a lifelong challenge that will change your life forever and for the good.

 

 

 

 

 

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Every other week I will post an idea for relaxation (Monday Meditation,) creative play (Tuesday Tickle,) fitness and exercise (Wednesday Workout,) journaling and misc. (Thursday Thought,) and nutrition (Friday Feast.)

 

Meanwhile, remember to look for a digital or print copy of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity at Who Dares Wins Publishing, http://whodareswinspublishing.com.

 

And check out these great blogs for ideas to keep your writing and publishing healthy and prosperous.

 

http://writeitforward.wordpress.com/ Bob Mayer

 

http://jenniholbrooktalty.wordpress.com/ Jenni Holbrook

 

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ Kristen Lamb

 

http://inspiration4writers.blogspot.com/ Inspiration for Writers, Inc.

 

http://pentopublish.blogspot.com/ Natalie Markey

 

http://amyshojai.com Amy Shojai

 

Check out my new website Joy E. Held

 

Have you subscribed to this Writer Wellness blog yet? Get email updates when a new post is added. Click “subscribe” and leave your email. That’s it and thanks in advance!

Be well, write well.

Monday Meditation: Just Breathe

Posted on by Joy Held

 

Relax? What does that really mean? It can mean taking a moment in the face of stress and remembering how inconsequential the problem is. But is that practical? What if the problem is a really big issue like something burning? Thankfully, the natural “fight or flight” response will kick in and you can probably put the fire out but what about responding to the everyday stresses we encounter all the time? It all matters a little bit but how we react to the situation is the real cause of most of our stress. It’s a matter of choice.

I believe that what causes the most stress for people are expectations. The fear of not living up to the hype causes us to tense up and that tension results in poo-poo thinking and the release of stress hormones that don’t dribble out later. They hang around and sludge up the works making blood sticky, muscles achy, and thinking unclear.

What helps? Breathing helps. Meditation helps. Exercise helps. Loving helps. Heck, hugging helps reduce the stress response and makes us think maybe we can cope with all this crap after all. Everything happens for a reason, and you are here now at this moment for a reason living life the way you are. You may not know it, but I think the human experience is only about finding that reason for living and pursuing it with everything you’ve got body and soul.

Find your reason for living by paying attention to the little things and to how fast time flys when you’re engaged in a particular activity. When do you lose all track of time? When do you feel refreshed no matter how intense the activity? When is your thinking focused on one thing and nothing else can get in until you let it? These are clues to finding your reason for being here, for contributing to the existential drama that causes us so much stress because we don’t know for sure what our true purpose in life is supposed to be.

Be still, breathe, and listen and the answer will overpower the stress. Has meditation helped you see the clarity in your work or life?

(Photo by J. Purkey, 2003)

Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity

 

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Every other week I will post an idea for relaxation (Monday Meditation,) creative play (Tuesday Tickle,) fitness and exercise (Wednesday Workout,) journaling and misc. (Thursday Thought,) and nutrition (Friday Feast.)

 

Meanwhile, remember to look for a digital or print copy of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity at Who Dares Wins Publishing, http://whodareswinspublishing.com.

 

And check out these great blogs for ideas to keep your writing and publishing healthy and prosperous.

 

http://writeitforward.wordpress.com/ Bob Mayer

 

http://jenniholbrooktalty.wordpress.com/ Jenni Holbrook

 

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ Kristen Lamb

 

http://inspiration4writers.blogspot.com/ Inspiration for Writers, Inc.

 

http://pentopublish.blogspot.com/ Natalie Markey

 

http://amyshojai.com Amy Shojai

 

Check out my new website Joy E. Held

 

Have you subscribed to this Writer Wellness blog yet? Get email updates when a new post is added. Click “subscribe” and leave your email. That’s it and thanks in advance!

 

 

 

Be well, write well

Thursday Thot: On Yoga and Writing, Interview with Maryanda

Posted on by Joy Held

By Catherine Greenfeder

Maryanda, a yoga instructor in New Jersey for over twenty years, is also a published author of two semi-autobiographical books, Who is She and She is Me, and is working on a third book, “Yoga Secrets, Yoga Tales” a collection of short stories that bring the reader into yoga. As She explains,  “A shift will happen for the reader just reading this book, which will bring them into the yoga space.”

          As someone who has been a published author and a yoga instructor and practitioner, Maryanda feels that her third book is yoga off the mat, and “just as yoga on the mat brings in all parts of us – body, mind, heart, and spirit, that’s what the third book will bring to the reader.”

          “As for writing, learning to recognize the different parts of ourselves will create better writers and deeper writing. And when a writer is writing from the yoga space, the place which integrates all parts of our being, then the reader also has access to that space inside them.” Maryanda uses yoga techniques to open her third eye before she writes, opening to the yoga space.  It is simple and from the heart. “As the reader takes it in they also open to that space within themselves. If you cannot be actually doing yoga on the mat, you can take yoga in esoterically off the mat.”

          Maryanda practices and teaches Kundalini yoga.  This is a gentle yoga which helps the practitioner go inward. In addition, she offers Yoga Nidra, which means “yoga sleep”.   This is the deepest form of yoga and goes beyond the posture/asana.  Here we set our Intention, activating what we want to come into our life.  And it works!  

          Among the many benefits of yoga, Maryanda said that the practice helps to lower stress, reduce anxiety, build strength without effort, and increase energy. This is healthful for the body, mind, heart, and spirit. Yoga is physically helpful, as well as mentally and emotionally helpful. And what delights many is that your body can very possibly find its own right size through yoga.  Although yoga is more about finding the right balance in every aspect of life, it still is very popular for developing a chiseled physique. Yoga is definitely not limited by age, body weight or body strength. Through yoga, the body is working with you as your level of consciousness is raised. Yes, yoga brings all parts of  all of us together, and it also keeps Maryanda healthy and well into her seventies, still enjoying life. 

Note: Catherine Greenfeder, a published novelist and teacher, has enjoyed and benefited from Maryanda’s yoga and Yoga Nidra classes.

www.catherinegreenfeder.vpweb.com

 

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Every other week I will post an idea for relaxation (Monday Meditation,) creative play (Tuesday Tickle,) fitness and exercise (Wednesday Workout,) journaling and misc. (Thursday Thought,) and nutrition (Friday Feast.)

 

Meanwhile, remember to look for a digital or print copy of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity at Who Dares Wins Publishing, http://whodareswinspublishing.com.

 

And check out these great blogs for ideas to keep your writing and publishing healthy and prosperous.

 

http://writeitforward.wordpress.com/ Bob Mayer

 

http://jenniholbrooktalty.wordpress.com/ Jenni Holbrook

 

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ Kristen Lamb

 

http://inspiration4writers.blogspot.com/ Inspiration for Writers, Inc.

 

http://pentopublish.blogspot.com/ Natalie Markey

 

http://amyshojai.com Amy Shojai

 

Check out my new website Joy E. Held

 

Have you subscribed to this Writer Wellness blog yet? Get email updates when a new post is added. Click “subscribe” and leave your email. That’s it and thanks in advance!

 

 

 

Be well, write well

Monday Meditation: Renaming Today “Fun-day”

Posted on by Joy Held

Monday Meditation: Renaming Today “Fun-day”

Monday is typically a dreaded day. It’s more unwelcome than a case of athlete’s foot. Yet it returns and reruns itself no matter what remedy we try. So it might be time for a change of perspective and to think positively about this day instead of always trying to avoid it. I’ve decided to rename Monday to “Fun-day”, the day of the week when we make an effort to enjoy the opportunities a fresh start to a new work week can offer. It’s time to look at all the potential Monday, I mean “Fun-Day”, presents.

First, we should admit that our problem with Monday is that it seems to end the fun of the weekend. If we make a choice to continue the fun on the first day of the week, sleeping on Sunday (the “day of rest”?) night won’t be the challenge is it for people who don’t look forward to Mondays. If we think of the day as “Fun-day” instead of Monday we might get enough sleep on Sunday to make the most of this promising day.

The next issue we have with Monday is that it never seems to have enough time built into it. That’s because we spend most of it being disgruntled that it has reappeared instead of making the best of something we can’t change anyway. The sun comes up and Monday comes back. That’s reality on this big round thing we live on. Like some other distasteful things I won’t mention, Monday happens. So it’s worth the LESS STRESS to plan ahead to make Monday more like “Fun-day” instead of I-hate-life-day. Take a few minutes on Friday to make a “Fun-day” plan. Look over the list and do one of the “Fun-day” jobs on Friday (P.S. I’m renaming Friday too, more on that later.) That way, “Fun-day” will have more space for taking care of something that invariably pops up or poops out.  Those last minute, didn’t-know-this-would-happen things that Mondays are famous for.

Time and trying to live against it instead of with it is a major contributor to creating bad stress in humans. Take a minute or two on some day in advance of Monday to make it “Fun-day” and relieve yourself of a tiny bit of stress.

What will you do today to make it “Fun-day”?

CONTEST WINNER ANNOUNCED! The winner of the drawing for a free digital copy of WRITER WELLNESS, A WRITER’S PATH TO HEALTH AND CREATIVITY and a month of free Writer Wellness coaching via email is

 

JOANNA AISLINN!     Congratulations. Contact me to arrange for your prize package! Thanks to all who entered.

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Every other week I will post an idea for relaxation (Monday Meditation,) creative play (Tuesday Tickle,) fitness and exercise (Wednesday Workout,) journaling and misc. (Thursday Thought,) and nutrition (Friday Feast.)

Meanwhile, remember to look for a digital or print copy of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity at Who Dares Wins Publishing, http://whodareswinspublishing.com.

And check out these great blogs for ideas to keep your writing and publishing healthy and prosperous.

http://writeitforward.wordpress.com/ Bob Mayer

http://jenniholbrooktalty.wordpress.com/ Jenni Holbrook

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ Kristen Lamb

http://inspiration4writers.blogspot.com/ Inspiration for Writers, Inc.

http://pentopublish.blogspot.com/ Natalie Markey

http://amyshojai.com Amy Shojai

Check out my new website Joy E. Held

Have you subscribed to this Writer Wellness blog yet? Get email updates when a new post is added. Click “subscribe” and leave your email. That’s it and thanks in advance!

Be well, write well

Monday Meditation: Part Deux

Posted on by Joy Held

At the “friends-giving” celebration in my home recently, a dear friend told me that one of her teachers spoke something that resonated so deeply she couldn’t get it off her mind. Part of “studying” the teacher’s words for her was to share them and see what others might have to say. Her teacher said that all of life’s relationships could be simplified to four sentences. She said that if everyone could somehow apply all four sentences to every relationship they had, there would be no stress.

1.I love you.

2.I am sorry.

3.Please forgive me.

4.Thank you.

She wrote the sentences down and they’ve been posted in my kitchen for several days now, and I’ve noticed a difference in my relationships without really trying to think too much about the four sentences. Just reading them several times a day has implanted them within the folds of my interactions with others.

1.I love you. This is very true. In the case of becoming upset with another person’s actions, these three words appeared out of nowhere. Before I could get much deeper into my frustration, this sentence reminded me that I DO love you, and I DO NOT want to jeopardize that with anger. This sentence enabled me the pause necessary to find another way to deal with or discard my unhappiness.

2.I am sorry. This is a very difficult sentence to utter. We are all resistant to pointing out our flaws even though we all have room for improvement. This sentence simply reminded me to avoid having to say it by thinking before I reacted to something. This way I didn’t have to say this to anyone because I remembered my love for them.

3.Please forgive me. It’s one thing to apologize, but it’s another thing for the wronged person to accept the apology. I’ve come to realize in my life that forgiveness is an option for some people. I don’t have the right to expect someone to forgive me. Therefore, it’s much easier to remember that I love them than to be placed in a position of waiting on forgiveness. It may never come.

4.Thank you. These are two amazing and powerful words. It doesn’t seem like we hear them enough. So I remembered to say it as often as warranted and to add a little smile. It works. We all just want to make a difference.

I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.  What would happen if you wrote these four sentences on a slip of paper and tacked them up somewhere you would see them multiple times a day, day after day? I’m interested in knowing your results.

 

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Every other week I will post an idea for relaxation (Monday Meditation,) creative play (Tuesday Tickle,) fitness and exercise (Wednesday Workout,) journaling and misc. (Thursday Thought,) and nutrition (Friday Feast.)

 

Meanwhile, remember to look for a digital or print copy of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity at Who Dares Wins Publishing, http://whodareswinspublishing.com.

 

And check out these great blogs for ideas to keep your writing and publishing healthy and prosperous.

 

http://writeitforward.wordpress.com/ Bob Mayer

 

http://jenniholbrooktalty.wordpress.com/ Jenni Holbrook

 

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ Kristen Lamb

 

http://inspiration4writers.blogspot.com/ Inspiration for Writers, Inc.

 

http://pentopublish.blogspot.com/ Natalie Markey

 

http://amyshojai.com Amy Shojai

 

Check out my new website Joy E. Held

 

Have you subscribed to this Writer Wellness blog yet? Get email updates when a new post is added. Click “subscribe” and leave your email. That’s it and thanks in advance!

Be well, write well

Monday Meditation: Stillness

Posted on by Joy Held

 

The soft, gentle place of peace and tranquility at the end of a yoga class is known to some students as the “prize” at the bottom of the box. After the stretching and the breath work, the relaxation pose at the end of class for five to ten minutes is a welcome relief. It’s also a place for something we don’t receive often enough during the day: stillness. We are so busy doing, darting, and thinking throughout the day that we forget or run out of time to find balance and do nothing but breathe. Day after day of being out of balance creates the stresses we are desperate to dissolve in our bodies and minds. The simplest way to reduce stress is to be its opposite. Stress is an active pressure on something. The physical or emotional pressure created by stress is blasted into oblivion by simply being still, not moving except for breathing for whatever time can be set aside for it.

Physical stillness is miraculous in its ability to energize our muscles and internal organs. However we’re so used to putting demands on ourselves physically and mentally, that it feels awkward to some people to be without motion so they “hold” themselves still and think this is relaxation. This is more doing. Stillness is letting go and just breathing in and out for five minutes and nothing else. It works better and achieves a better overall result to lie down, but it’s possible to let go while sitting up. But that’s the challenge of meditation isn’t? To meet the urge to do something with just being. So if life feels out of balance, it probably is. When we try to find balance with the practice of stillness, remember that there are two ways to achieve the stillness. We can grip something so hard it is still, or we can let go of everything until the bliss of just being pervades us on the deepest of levels. This is stillness.

How do you achieve stillness?

There are five primary areas of practice to the Writer Wellness plan. Every other week I will post an idea for relaxation (Monday Meditation,) creative play (Tuesday Tickle,) fitness and exercise (Wednesday Workout,) journaling and misc. (Thursday Thought,) and nutrition (Friday Feast.)

Meanwhile, remember to look for a digital or print copy of Writer Wellness, A Writer’s Path to Health and Creativity at Who Dares Wins Publishing, http://whodareswinspublishing.com.

 

And check out these great blogs for ideas to keep your writing and publishing healthy and prosperous.

 

http://writeitforward.wordpress.com/ Bob Mayer

 

http://jenniholbrooktalty.wordpress.com/ Jenni Holbrook

 

http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ Kristen Lamb

 

http://inspiration4writers.blogspot.com/ Inspiration for Writers, Inc.

 

http://pentopublish.blogspot.com/ Natalie Markey

 

http://amyshojai.com Amy Shojai

 

Check out my new website Joy E. Held

 

Have you subscribed to this Writer Wellness blog yet? Get email updates when a new post is added. Click “subscribe” and leave your email. That’s it and thanks in advance!

Be well, write well